New Year's Heave

Yes, I was in a mood to be disappointed, but I had no idea Quorn's chili would fit the bill so well! First of all, it's worth mentioning that my 6-month old has a cold, maybe bronchillitus, my husband has the flu, it's New Year's Eve, and we're still living in a one-bedroom apartment. All M. wants to do is sleep, and I don't blame him, but the baby needs the bedroom much of the time, and he keeps shuffling to and from the couch based on where the rest of us aren't.

I'm trying my damnedest not to get sick (well, as much as I can without having gone for a flu shot, yet...) and all I want (in the short and likely term) is some seriously spicy Asian food. I'm not really hungry: it just seems like that would be the thing to go right when nothing else is. But we still live in the town of kosher pizza & sushi restaurants (by which I mean: "try our brick oven pizza... And sushi!") so there's nothing I can really order. And the fridge is pretty sad, right now, when it comes to ingredients, so it's not like I can whip something up.

Oh, but I did have that frozen veg. chili thing I picked up the other day. Maybe that, while not Asian, might be spicy, I hoped.

No. Not spicy. Not chili, really. Sweet, and I don't mean a hint of cinnamon like Cincinnati chili, I mean sweet like tomato sauce. And no salt. And four minutes in the microwave left the plate hot enough to scald me through a potholder, but the food was lukewarm at best. That might not be Quorn's fault, BUT IT JUST MIGHT BE! Anyway, I dumped some cheddar and three kinds of hot sauce on it, which helped a bit but still didn't make this dish worth finishing.

Now, I wonder if I screwed up by picking chili over Quorn's Kung Pao meatfake, but I'm pretty sure if you can't get chili to taste like chili, your faux Chinese food isn't going to be so hot either. But the plate will.

Voskos Greek Yogurt

As my husband's grandmother is fond of saying, "blech." This yogurt is thick, as promised, but somehow really unpleasant to eat. The tropical apricot and mango flavor is currently sitting on my desk, halfway (I hope!) finished, daring me to abandon without completing it.

Several salads

So many strikeouts today from the salad bar... Lemony Brussels Spout salad was like chewing hay. Heirloom bean salad was undercooked. Smoked mozzarella salad was mysteriously gross and caused me to remember I just don't like smoked mozzarella. Mushrooms and artichokes were blah. Blah, I say! The linguini with fake meat was tasty, though, so not a total loss. Next time, skip them all!

Whole Kitchen Pad Thai with Tofu

I am reasonably wary of buying frozen pasta things (with sauce- ravioli and other frozen pastas are delightful), and it turns out that's the smart tack to take. Noodles get mushy or burned (which sometimes improves things, like in Stouffer's Mac and Cheese or parts of the Amy's Pesto Bowl) and things are always inconsistent all over.

Still, when faced with the sheer number of choices at Whole Foods and nothing is particularly appealing save an eleven dollar jar of pickles, and you miss Thai food like an arm or a sibling, the sight of the words "Pad Thai" will dance before your eyes and defy your reservations.

Microwave food smells good. Hardly ever will the taste match the other sensation, and that's the sad truth of these noodles as well. Your co-workers will comment incessantly, and you'll feel obligated to tell each and every one that it doesn't measure up.

Oh, and I need to mention Jean. Hi, Jean! I hope your lunch was better.